Back on track?

My 41st birthday is six or seven weeks away. With another milestone on the horizon it gets my mind thinking of where I am and where I want to be. Lately, my attention is turning back toward getting my life in order. Because of commitments with the theatre and the rainy weather, we have gotten out of our exercise routine. Last summer we were biking in the evenings, almost every night. But this summer has been unusually rainy and we haven't been able to bike. But the show is done, the rain has left and humidity has taken its place, and I intend to get back on the bike. There's just something meditative about the bike, riding around Fort Jackson at night when everyone else has turned in and the roads are pretty much wide open just for us. I also need to get into the gym. We pay for our membership, but haven't gone recently. I keep lying to myself that I will get up early in the morning and go. But to do that I need to go to bed earlier, and with our schedule, that's just not easy. So I set my alarm, and reset it again in the morning when it goes off. But I keep it at the early time, just in case. It starts with the first day.

I always think it sounds so self aggrandizing when people talk about how they do so much for others and how it's time for them to start doing more for themselves. But that's exactly what Jeni and I need to do. We have put so much ahead of us -- her work in particular because there is a lot going on and a lot of need. But we have both agreed that we need to make ourselves a priority again, and start doing things that we enjoy for us.

• We both want to read more. Jeni used to be able to read a book a week. I'm a much slower reader, and have books on my to-read list stacking up.
• And she used to have the time to cook more. This weekend she went back to making a menu for the week, and basing the grocery list off of that. 
• I want to juggle more. I got to juggle every night in the circus scene of Doctor Dolittle and I enjoyed it so much. So even if it's just a matter of grabbing three balls and juggling for a minute, I'm doing it -- every day. 
• I would love to write and draw again. The ideas are no longer there. That part of my brain is covered in dust and has gotten soft from lack of use. But it just needs to be rekindled again. I know it is there, and I'm eager to see what my brain can cook up now after years of growth since creating stories. I might even surprise myself.

But for all this to happen we have to commit to the idea. We have to make the effort. The desire is there, but sometimes the drive is not. It is a vicious cycle, and one that we are going to break.

I'm not making any birthday resolutions -- no goal weight or anything like that. It's just a nice reminder to get back on track.